Snug as a Bug in a Lycra blanket

I have recently started working 30 or so hours a week with a commute that is an hour one-way. That leaves oodles of time for thinking and contemplating, but virtually no time for writing. My "aha" moment was to do a few video blogs, however I then spent 3 days trying to get a 4 minute video to load. Finally I just said, "Forget it" and I'm back to typing. However, when you wake up at 6:30 am and have a cup of coffee by your side, it isn't so bad.

To try and keep abreast of current events I will postpone the recipe post of how to make a delicious spinach smoothie (that was the video) to talk about the second visit with Paula, my son's OT. Last Friday was the appointment. She brings in this HUGE zippered beach bag full of goodies. We have nicknamed it "Miss Paula's Magic Bag" because my son looks like Mary Poppins, with the whole top half of his body inside as he eagerly searches for a new activity.

We have determined that my son needs lots of physical activities, stuff that he has to use almost all of his muscle strength to complete. Some of the favorites from this visit were: a little plastic tub with a hole cut out in the lid just small enough that he had to really work to push wooden golf tees through, then work again to get the lid off. A firm styrofoam block that he then hammered the golf tees into. Some wooden veggies that were velcroed together, then he used a wooden knife the "slice" them. A wooden puzzle that had hinged doors with magnetized animals inside - getting the animals out was quite a task.

The most popular activity, the one he could have done for the entire hour was the lycra swing. This blanket is simply two lycra sheets sewn together with a rope inside the perimeter. It's approximately 4 feet long and 3 feet wide. Miss Paula would take one end, I would take the other and with my son inside we would lift the ends up to create a hammock-like cocoon. We would gently swing my son or shake the blanket (more vibration). Oh my goodness, all you could see was a thousand-watt smile and all you could hear were squeals of delight. We would do this for approximately 3 minutes, put the blanket down, my son would sign for "more" and we would do about 2 minutes more. Then we would engage him in another activity, with blanket breaks about every 20 minutes or so. The blanket got him so excited and "talking" quite a bit. It also provided tons of body sensory to fulfill that aspect he craves so much. He could twist and turn in the cocoon and at every point the lycra is "pressing" back onto him. Paula was saying that many neurosensory kids love the blanket and actually push their face into the fabric because it feels so good to them and they've been craving it. See, when this craving is satisfied, it then leaves his mind space to focus on other things. Post-blanket activities were much more focused and directed. When we see kids crawling all over furniture and jumping around, they are simply trying to fulfill that need. I know in my parent's living room, the way he gets that full-body sensory need met is to crawl all over the couch and recliner.

Over all, Paula, observed that my son seems more focused and that he's not as "flighty". That was nice to hear, because we have been really trying to bring in activities that set him up for success and doing the brushing twice a day. Our bedtime routine has changed to include 10 minutes of pillow fight and wrestling, then bath time, followed by bed. We also put him to bed with a small rice-filled muslin rectangle that we warm in the microwave and put lavender essential oil on it. That way he has a warm "pillow" he snuggles with that he can squeeze at night (verses my arm or love handles). We took a plastic sandbox from the back deck to the basement and filled it with beans. That's an awesome sensory activity when I'm trying to do laundry. We also found a great recipe for microwave play dough that requires hand-kneading the food coloring in. That activity is good for at least a half hour of play, plus he's using his muscles to physically work the color into the dough. Right now I'm stalking Craigslist for a small trampoline with a handle that he can jump on. Now, if he'd just stop trying to take toys out of the hands of other kids in daycare :)

Can I be a Gentle Parent?

The very first two sentences in the forward of the book "Adventures in Gentle Discipline" by Hilary Flower says this . . .

"Sometimes, I really, really feel like hitting my kids. There, I've said it."

And I laughed out loud because that statement is sooo true. I can only imagine the reaction of all my friends reading this that don't have kids - "GASP! How could you EVER even think about hitting your beautiful children?!?!" You may not say it out loud, but you are probably thinking it on some level. I don't blame you, but it's like childbirth, you can never fully grasp the concept fully until you are in the trenches living it. Then one day you'll go "now I get it".

Even though I've had the urge to just completely lose my cool with my toddler, so far I've avoided it. However, about 2 weeks ago when I had to give myself a time-out from him before I hauled off and spanked him, I decided I needed some alternatives. Now, if you choose to spank your children or not too - that's not what this post is about. It's also not about right verses wrong. I believe that couples need to come together in agreement about parameters of discipline, which is what my husband and I did.

When we found out we were pregnant my hubby said, "I will gladly follow your lead when it comes to parenting our kids, you've been immersed in the culture of children, healthcare and parenting choices longer and more thoroughly than I have and I trust your judgement. However, my one request - I insist that we don't spank or hit our kids"

My heart melted even more at those words and again, I was so thankful he is the father of my children. I think that if I did spank it would be a last-ditch kind of thing, when I would be at the end of my emotional rope. When you are in that place emotionally, that's not the time to reason with anybody, let alone my child who I want to have a relationship filled with love, trust and communication forever with. I think hitting my child would cross some line between us, because he would know somewhere there is an invisible threshold where he would be manually forced into submission or obeying. I don't want such a fear-based conditioning to be in our relationship. So I jumped right on board with the "no spanking" thing.

Then you have days where you are trying to have your toddler stand in the corner for his time-out, but he keeps getting out of the corner and looking at you, laughing and running away. I held it together so well for the first 25 minutes of calmly getting him, standing him back in the corner and saying "time-out starts now". Jo from Supernanny would have been proud. However, never have I seen an episode where the mom is also nursing a young infant, which at this point is now screaming because he's hungry. So as I'm trying to nurse my 3 1/2 month old my toddler is continuing his antics. Finally I just had to put him in his room until I fed his brother to keep from completely losing it - believe me I wanted too - and that feeling of being so enraged toward my child was scary once I took a step back.

I called a dear friend later that day and was complaining that my toddler has such a sweet, but ACTIVE spirit. (Btw, for to give you a viewpoint of how truly active he is. . . when your midwife who has interacted with thousands of kids comments "wow, he really is in the top percentile in terms of activity isn't he?" you know he's oozing with vitality). The hubby and I don't want to break his spirit to try and control him by demanding obedience, but instead parent with understanding and love. She responded "That's the beautiful thing about it. He was sent to you because you want to nurture and encourage him. God knew it would take a special set of parents to recognize that amazing spirit in him and work with it, not break it". I broke down in tears, because at that moment I needed to hear that, Yes, I was on the right track and doing the right thing.

I still raise my voice more than I'd like, so when I saw this book at the last Le Leche League meeting I snatched it up. I'm sure it will provide some valuable insight. I'll let you know how I handle my next almost meltdown. For those of you following this, the brushing continues to go well. It's nice to have that one on one connection with my son at various points throughout the day. Now I just have to get my husband to remember to do it :-)

What we do with a cough

Sometimes I forget that my ideas, lifestyle and parenting choices can be viewed as somewhat radical. You see, my husband and I always try to exhaust natural remedies before turning to a prescription. Why? Because the human body has an amazing capacity to heal - it just needs the right environment in which to do so effectively. If that environment can be created via chiropractic care, diet, herbal remedies, homeopathic remedies, or supplements then awesome!

My two and a half year-old recently had a cold. At the first sign of the sniffles I checked him for any subluxations (misalignments of the skeletal structure that might impede proper neural communication), started him on the homeopathic remedy Aconite as recommended by my homeopathic practitioner, made sure that he had eucalyptus essential oil in the bedroom humidifier, and Vick's vapor rub on his feet. Also, his diet was restricted to absolutely no sugar (unless fresh fruit), no dairy and low gluten. His fever ran for about 4 hours and it only took 48 hours for the entire thing to run its course.

Which one was "the one" that worked? Do I really care? No. Maybe it was a combination, maybe he would have gotten better in 48 hours regardless. I do believe that what I did assisted the body in some way, shape or form. Any or all of it is a better alternative to giving my child cough syrup or another medication that has side effects - some that can be fatal.

I'm not writing this as a prescription for you or your kid(s). This is simply introducing you to another angle to parenting and healthcare. Good Luck in your own parenting and health-seeking journey.

In Health and Happiness,

Dr. Erin